Simple Arithmetic
by mrs.salvatore39
Summary: "Amy, the basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me." A look inside the Pond's life. Warning: there will be feels to be felt and smut to be enjoyed. Amy/Rory fic.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: As I'm spending most of my free time (what little there is of it) getting caught up on Doctor Who so I'm able to watch the new season with everyone else, I'm finding myself stuck. Stuck in the way that I don't really want to watch anymore. Rory and Amy's departure from the show is something I took a little harder than I should have and so to cope with missing them I'm going to write a fic. Or maybe two…we'll see how it goes.

POND LIFE:

Amy found it desperately hard to sleep in complete silence. As a child she'd rarely slept at all, one eye or one ear always open and ready. Waiting for the Madman in the Blue Box to appear again. Then she grew up and he finally did come back, just as she was finding a way to sleep in silence. Life on the TARDIS was wonderful, exhilarating and most of the time completely bonkers. Down time, relaxation and sleep were commodities one didn't get often as worlds and planets begged for help at every turn, but when she did get to sleep it was with the comforting hum of the TARDIS engines. And after a while, it was Rory snoring beneath her as well.

She says beneath her because as we know, the Doctor planted bunk beds in their room. Finally, a proper bed was installed and that was when Amy slept the best of all. Rory's arms around her, the hum of the TARDIS and his breathing in her ear, and just knowing; in her soul that the Doctor was downstairs somewhere tinkering with the controls. That had been heaven, and that had been life. The TARDIS and her boys. But it wasn't real life, it wasn't Pond Life and occasionally they had to go back. They had to stay in their adorable little one bathroom house with the blue door that was smaller on the inside. And it wasn't like real life was bad; it just wasn't TARDIS life. Still, she slept well for Rory was still next to her; his arms around her and his breath in her ear.

And sometimes, she would call the Doctor and he would put the phone next to the console and let her listen till she fell asleep. The Doctor's absences grew in length and even his messages were further apart. The Ponds were slowly sinking into normal. Part of Amy's mind relished in it, the other part of her screamed. One regular morning she stood in the kitchen, her eyes closed. Rory was upstairs in the shower and the Ood was outside in the garden. She had a moment to herself, and she took advantage of it. The tears fell, the sobs wracked her ribs till it hurt and she clutched the counter to stay standing. How could she literally feel torn in half? Their life with the Doctor, their life without him.

She loved Rory; she didn't have to remind herself of that. She loved their house, and she even loved his little car; a bit. Though she would never admit it out loud. He looked so sexy when he drove it. They got up, showered. Had a proper breakfast nowadays thanks to the Ood. Then they were off to work. The royalties from her perfume line turned modelling career gave her the option to stay home, but she didn't want it. Rory worked, so she did as well. Besides, if she stayed in the house all day every day she would go mad. Not that she wasn't going mad already. She checked the phone for messages more often than she would have liked, and found herself jumping up from the couch, turning down the telly just to see if she'd been imagining the low 'whoop whoop' of the TARDIS landing out in the yard.

But the Doctor didn't come, and she didn't call him. Not even when she needed him the most. Then the fights started. Sure, she and Rory fought often, but never like this. Never till the sun rose and they were both hoarse from screaming. Never to the point where she stood idly in the corner watching him pack a bag. Her fingers itched to reach out and stop him, but she knew this was what was best for him. She would have to let him go, let him move on. He'd have to find someone else, someone that deserved him. Could give him what he wanted. What he needed.

He'd waited 2,000 years for her; and for what? To be rewarded with an empty house and a life where they seemed to always be waiting for something that might never come. No, she would let him go, force him to go if she had to. It would be easier for him to get over her if he hated her anyway. This was it, this was the day Rory Williams was going to leave her. This would be the end of their Pond Life. She watched him close the suitcase, heard the final clicks as the locks slid into place. Her arms were tight around her; her nails digging into the leather jacket she wore. She closed her eyes and prayed, prayed that the Doctor would appear; would come bursting into the bedroom and put a stop to all this. That he would take them back to Demon's Run before any of the damage had been done to her body. It could be reversed couldn't it?

All of this could be avoided. But the Doctor never came and time didn't stop. Nor did it rewind. Slowly, Rory turned to face her; anger and pain in his eyes. He was waiting, one last flicker of hope that she would stop him. But she only stood there, her eyes on the floor now for she couldn't bare to look at him. He huffed and flung the suitcase from the bed, throwing open the bedroom door. She heard him, usually so light on his feet, stomping down the wooden staircase. She stood frozen for a moment, the feeling of being torn hitting her again. The tears fell, and they wouldn't be stopped this time. She wouldn't be able to hide them from him now, and maybe that was for the best.

She screamed his name, chasing him down the stairs. He was already out the front door but that didn't stop her. She'd made a mistake, but she could fix it. She could make him come back. She could call the Doctor and they would just go back. But the Doctor's absence in recent months had given Rory a sense of security and he'd painted the damn nursery already. He'd been romantic and sweet and seductive and she'd thrown it all back in his face. The fear, the hurt; the sense of failure. She couldn't give him children, she couldn't give him the life he wanted. But it was Rory and he would forgive her, he would find a way past it. Her heeled boots met the sidewalk and through her tears she saw his retreating form.

She called his name, but he was done. Done with the fighting, the waiting. The pain. The fear that she loved the Doctor more than she loved him. That she would never choose their normal life over a life in the TARDIS. His coat in one had, his suitcase in the other he kept walking. He didn't stop, and he didn't look back. He threw the suitcase into the backseat of the car and drove away. Amy reached for the gate, her fingers closing around the ornate black iron; its strength keeping her standing as every possible emotion poured from her eyes. Why didn't he look back? _He's better off without you_. That voice, the realization it might be true broke the final piece of her heart and slowly, almost crawling like an infant she got herself back in the house.

That night, the silence kept her awake. There was no humming of the TARDIS engine. No sweet music the Doctor sometimes played. There were no Rory snores, or the easy, familiar beating of his heart. There was nothing, just a small one bathroom house with a blue door that suddenly felt very, very big on the inside.

a/n: Watching Pond Life on YouTube made me NEED to write this. I may include a second chapter, for two reasons. Reason number one; there is not nearly enough smut for Amy and Rory- that I can find- and reason number two; it is me after all, how could I not keep going?


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: Withdrawals of this adorable couple have me 'wasting' one of my last few days off before I start a new job, but hopefully something good comes out of it. As usual, I'm writing for me, but if you enjoy it too than that will make me even happier.

ASYLUM OF THE DALEKS

Amy sat with her back to Rory, the platform cool against her legs. Even through the stockings she could feel the glass. This damn planet was so cold. Maybe, just maybe she should start wearing pants more often incase Dalek's every decided to 'beam her up' again. Though, if she had anything to say about it she would take pleasure in blasting every last one of them to smithereens. If the Doctor would let her. She shook her head, glaring downwards. Love, she had to focus on love. Love made her think of Rory, and then she only thought about pain. Pain she felt, pain she'd caused him. Then the negative thoughts returned and she was right back to the oncoming headache. She imagined herself with a Dalek eye probe through her forehead and shivered.

Love, think about love. "Okay, look at me." Rory's voice normally soothed her, but right now it grated on her nerves. On her guilt. She wanted nothing more than for him to put his arms around her, but even if he'd tried she knew she would have just pushed him away. "I'm going to be logical, cold and logical. Okay? For both our sakes, for both of us." He gestured to his wrist; to the contraption that was keeping him from turning into a Dalek himself. "I'm going to take this off my wrist, and put it on yours."

Even as he moved closer, she moved back. She craved his touch just as badly as she craved the distance, but what he was saying was crazy. "Why? Then I'll just start converting you, that's not better."

"Yeah, but it will buy us time 'cuz it will take longer with me." He spoke as if he were trying to explain First Aid to a preschooler.

"Sorry what?" it was hard to focus on love when he used that tone. It was hard to focus on much of anything when he was this close. They'd been apart for so long, and now being here with him alone after everything was too much for her heart. She had a feeling she knew what he was getting at, but she wanted him to say it; to hear the words for sure.

"It subtracts love;" there it was, that tone again. "that's what she said."

"What's that got to do with it? What does that even mean?"

"It's just arithmetic." He was getting impatient, desperate. She knew that look in his eyes. "It will take longer with me because…we both know, we've both always known…" the look changed now, his eyes were back to the painful expression she unfortunately recognized. Had she really made him look that hurt so often that it was as common as his laugh or his smile? "Amy the basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me. Which today is good news, because it might just save both of our lives."

There it was, the words. The unspoken words he'd kept bottled up for years. It wasn't just that he thought she'd loved the Doctor more than him or that she didn't love him at all. They were never equal, and no matter what she did for him, or said it would never be good enough. Her love wasn't good enough or strong enough. He had no faith in her or her love for him and he would rather risk himself becoming a Dalek than believe she loved him. Stupid Face indeed. "How can you say that?"

He retreated from her, both of them on the verge of tears. "Two thousand years, waiting outside a box for you. Say it isn't true; and since you know it's true, give me your arm." She refused and he moved closer. "Amy!"

When he reached for her again she slapped him. The skin to skin contact left her hand burning and his face stinging, but she didn't care. No physical pain could register the same level of hurt she felt at what he'd just said. "Don't you dare say that to me, don't you ever dare."

Her pain, his pain. It was all the same and it flowed through her. She couldn't fix this, no one could. Not even the Doctor. She knew that now, had accepted it. She thought he had to, that he was ready to move on. That he was happier without her, that was what she'd forced herself to believe. What she'd pretended to believe. "Amy, you kicked me out!"

She broke, finally. He thought she kicked him out because she didn't love him. Of course he did, because he didn't know the truth. Because she'd been hiding things from him, things that he should have known so he could make his own choices. He wouldn't love her anymore when he found out, and then she wouldn't have to make him leave. He would do it all on his own. "You've wanted kids, you've always wanted kids! Ever since you were a kid! And I can't have them."

"I know." He'd suspected it, been afraid of it and ultimately he'd stolen her chart from the hospital when he'd seen she'd done tests months ago. He'd gotten very drunk and then he'd called her but she hadn't answered the phone. She'd never answered the phone when he called. Even when he had the papers for her to sign, he'd had to ambush her at a photo shoot.

He'd known and he'd said nothing. He was as much to blame for this as she was, but he couldn't take any of it back. He wanted to hold her, tell her everything was going to be okay but Amy wasn't the kind of girl that believed that lie. Not after everything she'd seen. After everything they'd been through.

"Whatever they did to me at Demon's Run; I can't ever give you children. I didn't kick you out," she sounded almost disgusted with herself, and that hurt him most of all. Knowing that she'd loathed herself this much for so long over something she had no control over. "I gave you up."

"Amy…I, I don't…"

"Don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box because that's nothing! Rory, nothing! Compared to giving you up."

~One Explosion a Heated Kiss and a Million Confused Dalek's Later~

They'd saved the world again, like another day at the office. Standing on the steps of their little one bathroom house with the blue door; waving goodbye as the TARDIS dematerialized before them. Neither of them had become Dalek's and now they were safely back at home. No idea how much time had passed, could have been a mere hour or two or a whole week. Either way, they had some talking to do. The papers had been signed this morning and as soon as the lawyer had them in hand, they were officially divorced. Slowly, Amy turned to face him.

That wasn't what she wanted; not really. Not now, not ever. She wanted him and their normal life and occasionally the Doctor would come and take them away. And they would struggle to get their lives back on track after but it would be their struggle and they would do it together. She smiled at him, the first genuine smile she'd managed in months. He was home. She turned to go into the house, glancing over her shoulder at him to make sure he was going to follow. He planned on it, but he had to celebrate first. She'd seen that dance once before; the day he'd proposed. It was adorable, but right now more than anything she wanted to finish that kiss they'd started in the middle of blowing up the Asylum. "I can see you."

"Okay." He took two long steps into the house, shutting the door behind him. "So…we should probably talk about what-"

She pressed him against the wall, her eyes fierce. "Do you really want to talk right now?"

He grabbed her hips, holding her tightly against him and shook his head. "Not at all."

The literal and metaphorical distance between them had been enough to drive them both mad and with greedy fingers he tugged her head to the side. Red curled around his fingers as he guided her kisses to his liking, all the while never letting an inch of space between them. Eventually clothes would have to be shed, but for right now he was just going to absorb every moment of her that she could. Amy's hands moved beneath his shirt and up the back; her long, dark manicured nails leaving marks on his skin he would admire later. The passion and frenzy that overtook them had no sense of logic, and slowly piece by piece they undressed themselves right in the hallway. The den was just to the side a few steps had them naked together on the rug.

His lips moved from her mouth across her chin, down the length of her throat to her collarbone. She dug her nails into the carpet with one hand, the other finding no give in the hardwood. Instead she tugged at the hair on the back of his head, bringing his lips back to hers. He groaned, she sighed, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him close. They couldn't seem to get close enough and she wondered how it was possible she'd ever spent a moment without him. It wasn't just that he completed her, or that she made him whole because there was something missing in themselves. It was deeper than that; the connection they had. She knew what it felt like to be ripped in half, and finally now that he was this close, she knew what it meant to be a full person.

She didn't have to be torn between anything anymore, not now that he belonged to her once more. And she to him. They were perfectly fitted for the other one; right down to how their bodies met. Familiar, and still exciting even after all this time. Rory rolled to his back, letting her wrap around him completely. He wanted to see her, to know that this wasn't a dream. He was really home and she was really here. Whether they were in this little house or in the TARDIS flying off into the outer corners of some galaxy, he was home as long as he was with her.

He felt her tremble above him, heard her moan, felt the sigh on his neck as she kissed him. Being with Amy was like breathing, it was easy but vital. She arched her back up and called his name as she came, and he kept moving with her. As she slowly began to calm he flipped them over and kept up the pace. She hissed in pained pleasure; moaned in desperation, called his name in passion. All he knew was that she wanted more, and now that he'd know what it was like to lose her, to be without her- he would never be able to deny her anything she craved whether it was love or pleasure. Amy felt him tense and tighten above her, within her and she held on to the sensation of being bonded to him again as it sent her over once more and they came together, grasping and moaning and murmuring impossible things.

They made love until exhaustion forced their bodies to collapse, and eventually after a long time they got up from the rug and gathered their clothes. Amy wondered idly if the old man on San Helious she'd bought it from would be ashamed should he learn of the things they'd done on it. It was Tuesday, two in the afternoon, but they'd just saved the world. A well deserved nap and Chinese take away was exactly what the girl who waited and the boy who waited even longer needed. And as they walked up the stairs, hands clasped together; stopping so often for a giggle laced kiss- they decided that their one bathroom house with the blue door was just the right size for them.

a/n: okay, the ending is corny. And of course we all know it doesn't really end that happily ever after for Amy and Rory in this time, but I needed to know that somewhere; someway they were happy. I'm thinking of doing a fic for them in the 1930's next…but I'm not too sure yet. Have to see what inspiration does to me…


End file.
